What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
