And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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