I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
