not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
