Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
