Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
