i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We just shotgunned beers for America
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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