Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
is it fun? or sober?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
