I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
