"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
