Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize