he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
