OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
