i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Soap is not a condiment
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
