Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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