I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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