Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
