apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
