dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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