kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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