I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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