dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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