you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
