He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
