problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
