Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
