I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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