My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
