normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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