hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
