I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
