Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
