is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Farmville is her only friend.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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