Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize