I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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