That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
