Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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