I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
