Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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