The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
