dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
