no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
The air was thick with penises
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
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