i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
