remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
