wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
My underwear smells like fireworks.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
