That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
