Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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