it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It happened again.
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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