Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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