DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize