We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
