You just made me feel so damn special
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
