K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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