Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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