I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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