Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
