Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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