Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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