why didn't you poke me back
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
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