Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
