at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
