The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
