in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I look better un-naked...
I've blown a few things in my day
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
