He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
