Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
