Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
