HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
