You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
