wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
