I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize