bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
