TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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