If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
