well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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