how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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